Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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