you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
