is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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