Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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