that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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