This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
