If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
