I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
