what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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