We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
