lets start a swedish sibling band together
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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