dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
