Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
