Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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