Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
