Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
