why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
