The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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