Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
