were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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