Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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