do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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