I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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