why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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