I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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