Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize