saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
