Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didn't notice because vodka
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
