just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize