Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
