come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
