I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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