god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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