she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
