It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
