He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
