Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
