i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there's paper in my vomit.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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