Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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