so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
