i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
