You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
