I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
