I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
