Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize