Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
