Soap is not a condiment
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
