I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
