i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
