Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to make a zoo with you.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
