porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
