i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
