I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
