What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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