Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
