why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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