I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
