please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
